It’s Okay To Talk To Yourself…But Make Sure It’s Positive Self Talk!



The notes in ‘Black’ relate to the day after I was admitted into hospital…

This is what I would call the day of my healing or amazing recuperation or transformation.

You’ll find the timelines go in and out and back and forth and this section of my healing is the part before I knew I was fully healed!

Yes, the cat has been let out of the bag but please read on, as this is meant to help you and/or anyone you know who find themselves in hospital suffering from the COVID-19 virus or pneumonia, deal with it in the best way possible.



Saturday 04.04.2020 – Day Two In St Helier Hospital

Yes, I’m one for racing ahead but now I know I should take it easy which is certainly a challenge for me.

The last few weeks I couldn’t even get out of bed but only just this afternoon I’ve been up walking, talking and breathing deeply…

…as well as drinking litres of water…

…but I must force myself to just keep on drinking, which is not easy for me if I am not thirsty.

It took a few hours for me to rise from my bed as from recent experiences, getting up and moving about more or less knocked me out.

I lay there, ‘Thinking’ about breathing deeply, until I got to a point where I said to myself:

“Come on Wilson, get up and test yourself out, do not be afraid to try just because you felt so weak before…”

“…can’t you feel the energy surging through your body as you lie here?”

And I could, I felt, strong, physically strong!!!

“Well, see if you have the same energy standing up…”

“…practice that deep breathing you have been thinking about and talking about for so long!!!”

They say talking to yourself is the first sign of madness but I beg to differ as that was a great pep talk that came from the positive me.

But I was scared I would feel the pain in my chest, where I do not want to experience that, ever, again!!!



I’m now eating cookies and I have two glasses of Apple juice to down.

At lunch, I was so hungry, it wasn’t enough but there will be more food coming later!

Earlier this morning or afternoon, I got a call from a church member named Gary Leong which made me realise;

‘I Can Talk Without Pain And Shortness Of Breath!’

That was indeed a blessing as I have never ever spoken to Gary via the phone re: WhatsApp

We hardly even talk!!!

Should I tell you I did some Tai Chi to help my breath go deeper?

It wasn’t my intention to do any Tai Chi but once I started breathing without the help of oxygen I realised the flowing movements and concentrated steps (because previously I could hardly walk without wobbling) really helped!

It’s been a jump in my energy level from 10% to 70%, to which I am so happy about.

I sort of began recovering after I had a sleep around 10:45 where I experienced the best sleep of my life and also (wait for it) I felt an Orange healing effect within and without!

I was sweating like a pig mind you but it did not feel like a fever sweat, it felt like a cleansing  healing sweat…

…and I only realised I was sweating after I heard voices saying:



‘Excuse me! Excuse me! Excuse me! Excuse me! Excuse me! Excuse me!’

And it was getting LOUDER and more frantic where then… I woke up!

(In fact if I am lying down sleeping or resting, I always wake up if anyone approaches me or gets (too) close. Very rarely does anyone need to call me to get my attention, as I know they are already there!)

I was startled that I wasn’t aware of them sooner as usually as soon as anyone approached the bed I was in, I woke up, just like I wasn’t even sleeping…

…and standing there, looking at me were two tea ladies (or girls) ready to take my order, where one one them asked:

“Would you like tea or coffee?”

I was outraged to think they had woken me up from one of the best sleeps I had ever had in weeks, as there I was in a dream or something or some place that was soooooo beautiful and warm and nice and pleasant and all things wonderful…

…I was even smiling in my dream(?) because I actually thought I was already awake.

But upon being awoken and having come crashing back down to earth (so to speak), I was startled, embarrassed and angry all at the same time as I was enjoying myself so much, to which upon waking, I realised, it was (just) a dream.

So, I was asleep and was I snoring too when they called me?

But as I wrote, I felt extremely embarrassed (and upset) that they woke me out of such a ‘fantastic slumber’ to ask if I wanted ‘Tea or Coffee’.




The point is, I don’t drink ‘Tea or Coffee’!

‘Tea or Coffee’ indeed!!!!

Because of my embarrassment, as they were calling me for such a long time and also shouting at me to get my attention I asked:

“How long were you calling me for?”

And they said:


And I said:

“You were calling me right? How long were you calling me for?”

And they said:


To which now I was thinking:

“Hold on, what’s going on here?”

Now I was sitting up straight and leaning towards them to engage with them further and I asked:

“Were you calling me for a long time?”

Where they then looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and raised their hands in unison – and they shook their heads too – which made me feel like I was talking gobbledygook or I was a lunatic!



So, amazingly, they could not understand a word I was saying and I could not believe they could not understand me, as I knew I was speaking clearly and succinctly.

They consisted of two girls, one may have been Polish or Hungarian and the other from Angola.

It seems they know how to ask what we want to eat and drink but beyond that, their command of the English language appeared to be limited, especially after them not understanding what I was saying.

Then, one of the HCAs (Health Care Assistants) on duty (who is from Ghana, named Meena) stepped out from behind the curtain where she was dealing with Frank (who was in the bed to my right) said:

“He wants to know if you were calling him for a long time!”

Simple as that…

And the two girls said:


So, then I asked:

“How many times did you call me?”

And they said:


This means, they only said “Excuse Me” once, where I heard them calling me over and over and over again, as if to resuscitate me, from a…

..hold on…


…a coma?

That thought of me being in a coma has only just come to me as I am writing to you!

But it was weird or amazing, as I am so sure they were they trying to wake me up for ages!!!

Thereafter, it took me some time to pluck up enough courage(?) to test what I was capable of doing re: getting out of bed, breathing deeply (without oxygen) and walking (without feeling washed out)

That’s my latest and best experience in being here, so far.

And there we have Frank (who has dementia) shouting out:

“Hullo… Hullo… Hullo…” night and day – and – day and night!

Which is in fact “Hello” as Frank sounds like he’s a cockney but because he has no teeth, his speech is not fully clear but sort of muffled because he cannot pronounce his consonants.

But what really beats me is how comes Frank has such a ‘LOUD’ voice?!?!?!?

He must be hitting 120dB (the threshold of discomfort) without a struggle and it was hurting my right ear!!!

He has some excellent lungs in him!

And I had wished I had the lung capacity Frank had as mine were full of liquid.

Frank was not in for COVID-19, he was in because unfortunately the care home he attended was unsure what to do with him!


Bible Verse:

1. As The Deer Pants For Streams Of Water,
So My Soul Pants For YOU, My GOD.
2. My Soul Thirsts For GOD,
For The Living GOD.
When Can I Go And Meet With GOD?
~ Psalms 42:1-2
Note: You can meet with GOD when it is quiet and when, you are, in, ‘Isolation’, as we all have much more, quiet time/s on our hands.


This site is dedicated to:

  1. Saving Lives
  2. Saving Souls


GOD Bless you!

Wilson P Williams MSHAA, HAD

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